Many couples ask us, “what makes a great relationship?”
This can be hard to answer in a few of sentences as there are many factors that contribute, but if we look at what one thing would make such a big difference in romantic relationship, it’s treating your partner how you want to be treated.
If you want your partner to show more affection, show more to them. If you would love your partner to say, “I’d love to share some time with you, come and watch this movie with me,” then say this to them. If you want them to be kind, then be kind, or if you would like them to kiss you more, then kiss them more. This doesn’t mean they will suddenly respond and provide what you are wanting, but it does open a door and invite them in. If you are not showing them affection, even if they want to show it to you, because you are withdrawn, and they feel pushed away so withdraw it from to protect themselves. One of you needs to be brave and offer what you want and break the deadlock.
It doesn’t guarantee they will respond, perhaps they just don’t feel that way about you nowadays, but it’s worth a try. Couples get locked into a pattern that becomes ‘real’ between them and they end up in it for so long it can eventually become what they feel comfortable with, and instead of challenging it, it becomes the accepted norm.
That statement of treating others like you would like to be treated is a great value to carry into all relationships and situations, and especially so with you partner. Be brave for a month. See if it makes a difference and then you can decide if it is/was worth it.